Photo: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43195I was feeling a bit nostalgic last night, so I decided to take my wife out on a date like the ones I used to take her out on before we were married. The only things real particular to such a date are; 1) plan as you go (I'm rather charismatic under pressure), and 2) keep it under ten bucks.
Naturally, we started out at the Nickel Cade. Our time was well spent; my wife perfected her stroke at the skeet-ball ramp, while I broke the basketball arcade game with my aggressive play. We won enough tickets to cash in for a stretchy sticky-hand and a kazoo.
Afterward we ended up at the Sonic Drive-In, mostly because my wife had a coupon for 99-cent shakes. As we approached the order menu she told me I had to tell the cashier I had a coupon when I ordered. I froze.
No way was I going to announce over a speaker that I had a coupon! My mind raced back to a date I had early on in college, with another girl.
This girl had wanted to go ice skating, so I planned out a date down at the local skating rink. The day before the date, one of my roommates found out about it and gave me a 2-for-1 admission coupon he had lying around.
The dilemma arose: is it OK to use a coupon on a date? Would she think I was a cheap son-of-a-gun, and walk away? I had no idea. Highly concerned, I discussed the situation with a friend at work.
Probably because he was working the same $6-hour job I was, we concluded that I should use the coupon and save $6. However, we agreed that the transaction would need to be made without my date knowing. I'd have to secretly hand it to the cashier with a wink and a nod.
It was on. My date and I arrived at the front counter of the ice skating rink where we were greeted by the cashier. "Two please," I stated confidently. I then slipped her a five and one bill, with the coupon folded inside. I pointed at something to distract my date as the cashier unfolded my money and removed the coupon.
"Sorry, this coupon isn't effective until next month." Time stood still, while the word "coupon" rang loud and clear to me, my date, and everyone behind us in line. It was like an echo down a canyon: "COUPON, COUPON, COUPON..."
I knew the dang things had expiration dates, but commencement dates?
My date looked at me with sorry eyes while my mind raced in terror. She was looking at me like I was unable to pay for the date. I looked like a kid at a 25-cent gumball machine, trying to shove a nickel into the quarter slot: kind of cute, but also kind of sad.
So as I sat in the Sonic Drive-In with my wife, I crumpled the coupon in my clenched fist and called out our order. "Two shakes please, at full price."
I paid double that night, but sometimes that's the price of keeping a little date-night dignity.
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4 comments:
LoL
Maybe you're dating the wrong women because frugal = smart, and you want a woman that understands that truth. Guys, however, do need to understand the difference between frugal and tacky.
So what, you paid $1.29 instead of $.99?
Man, Ross, I used to think Brett was the cheap one of the group. I think I'm learning, however, that you've been the mastermind of cheapness all along. Brett's like Darth Vader, but you're the emporer.
Megan put up with the Nickelcade? What a gal! Glad you earned enough tickets for a sticky hand at least. Watch out those things attract carpet fuzz and hair like magnets.
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