Who needs energy bars when you've got donuts?

What's the best way to negate the benefits of a 20-mile bike race? Eat a bunch of donuts while doing it.

Saturday morning I competed in the second annual Tour de Donut, a grueling race against speed and appetite. The details of the race are as follows:

• Bike a 6.5-mile lap
  
• Eat donuts
  
• Bike a 6.5-mile lap
• Eat donuts
• Bike a 6.5-mile lap

Each donut you wolf down takes three minutes off your overall time, so there's an incentive to spend plenty of time eating donuts before hitting the road for the second and third laps.

I felt a little out of place, upon arriving at the race site to register. While most riders donned flashy jerseys, spandex shorts, and click-in shoes, I had on a t-shirt, basketball shorts, and an old pair of Nike's.

As we lined up I noticed most everyone had sleek racing bikes made of toothpick frames. I had a full-suspension mountain bike that I picked up at a yard sale last year. Picture a bunch of gazelles lining up to race an old jeep.

I hadn't ridden my bike for over a month, and that was just to go to the grocery store for some soda. But then again, it's an event with donuts--the "real" bikers are practically asking for idiots like me to crash their race.

I trudged my way through the first lap, then quickly polished off four donuts. They actually went down pretty easy. With sticky hands I was off for lap two.

My second trip to the donut table wasn't as enjoyable. After I shoved the fifth one in my mouth I had no desire to continue. I guess it was at that point that the same spirit which moves Lance Armstrong to go stronger came upon me: I hunkered down and kept eating.

I found a couple tactics handy: one was the donut sandwich, where you smash two or more donuts on top of each other to eat at the same time; the second was water logging, where you keep squirting water in your mouth while you're munching on your donut.

Having pounded my ninth donut, I took to the course and trucked my way through the final lap. There's a special feeling when you cross the finish line of a race, but it's even more special when you do it with icing on your face and a belly full of donuts.

Just for kicks I looked up a calorie calculator when I got home, and I probably burned 1,000 calories during the race. However, the donuts totaled 1,980 calories. Ultimately, it was the donuts that came out on top.