The Gift Cycle: I want out

Photo: http://www.daylife.com/photo/0d6g1SP5XBgwU

I adamantly believe most gifts are given out of a sense of social responsibility. Yeah, I'm sure most of you are saying that is Grinch talk, but I ask that you hear me out before you say my heart is two sizes too small.

My main line of reasoning is that situations have been established in our culture that provide an opportunity, I mean... a requirement, to give a gift away.

Everyone is associated with a day in which their birth will be celebrated, a.k.a. a birthday. On that day gifts MUST be given to the person chalking up another year of life. Same with the Christmas holiday. On that day gifts MUST be given to everyone.

Where does the tradition of giving gifts come from? Perhaps it originates back to the story of Jesus's birth, where wise men came bearing gifts. (Note that the shepherds didn't bring anything, and they weren't turned away from the event.)

Actually, the tradition started even earlier. In ancient Rome people would exchange gifts on New Year's Day. These gift exchanges went on for a long time, but as Christianity expanded the church attempted to halt it, seeing it as a pagan tradition. However, the gift exchanges were too popular with the people so they decided instead to associate gift giving with the Magi at the birth of Jesus, rather than associate it with a Roman holiday.

So that's a brief background on Christmas gift-giving, which we as a culture have extended into birthday gift-giving, because one time a year isn't enough. Furthermore, there are baby showers, weddings, holidays, housewarmings, anniversaries, funerals, graduations, all of which stand as another reason for gifts to be given.

So for those asking what is wrong with established dates of gift giving, first I say it takes the logic out of giving a present. If every year your good friend is going to give you a gift on your birthday, then you in turn will give them a gift for their birthday, why don't you just save your time and money and each just buy something for yourselves? At least that way your guaranteed to get what you want.

Is there any charity involved with giving a gift to someone when you know you're scheduled to get a gift from them soon? Would people really head out Christmas shopping at 4 a.m. the day after Thanksgiving if they knew there wasn't going to be anything under the tree for them on Christmas morning? Would they really buy a birthday present every year for somebody that never got them anything on theirs? Perhaps some would, but I hope my questions make a point.

What's the common phrase heard when people are going out to get a gift for someone they don't regularly exchange gifts with? "I have to, they randomly got me something last year." Yes, most people buy gifts for someone out of the fear that that person might get them something.

Not only that, receiving gifts on particular events has become so ingrained in us that it has become expected. Why the heck do people send out graduation announcements? It's definitely not to announce their graduation; the announcers expect gifts. Why do people hold bridal showers? Why do people hold birthday parties?

And so I want out. I don't want out of giving gifts, per se, but I want out of the gift cycles society has created. I don't want some blasted store telling me when I should be buying someone a gift. I want to give when I feel the need to give, and that can't be pinned down to a day on the calendar.

Only problem is, I need people to join me. Until then I'll look like a jerk at birthday parties.

Then again, I don't know... maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we're not ready for truly sporadic giving. Take away all our holidays and anniversaries and birthdays, and we'd probably never give each other a dang thing.