The results of this past election seemed to have ticked off a lot of people. Now some people in the US are going to get taxed more. Now some people in California can't get married. Now some people in Michigan can smoke pot if they're sick. The list is longer, but in sum, a lot of things did or did not pass and now a lot of people are in an uproar.I'm not president elect, but if I was, I'd have a solution. Our country needs a no-man's land, a safe zone between the trenches. It needs a place where people can be ruled according to what they believe should be the law.
First off, this no-man's land would require some land. I checked out a map of the US, and there appears to be a good chunk of unused land in northeastern Alaska. The map I looked at labels it "ANWR." I'm sure it's up for grabs. There's also a healthy piece of waste-land real estate in the middle of Nevada.
Let's go with Nevada--they're already flexible in their tax, casino, and prostitution laws. A large no-man's land in the middle of their state shouldn't phase 'em. So Nevada would be shaped like a doughnut, with its doughnut hole being the new no-man's land.
In the doughnut hole anything would fly. It would be the place for people to go who are ticked at what and who the majority of the people in their home town, state, or country passed and elected. It's citizens would each be governed by the laws and lawmakers they prefer.
In the no-man's land you'd have hundreds of thousands of little townships, and such townships would often consist of just one household. You could go over to your neighbors, who are from Nebraska, and they may be waiting for someone to sit in their electric chair.
There would be no mayor, governor, or president of no-man's land, because of course, everyone in the place has their own. In one household/township they'll call John McCain their president. In another they'll call Ralph Nader their president. Nader would of course stop by the Johnson's house in no-man's land every January to give the State of the Union Adress:
"I'm sorry I haven't been able to get much through congress so far, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson (lots of clapping). It's just that (lots of clapping), uh, they don't regard me in the same manner as you do (lots of clapping). Anyway, the state of our Union is, um, well how are you guys doing?"
"We're doing just fine, thank you."
"OK then, I'd say the state of the Union is, um, fine (lots and lots of clapping). God bless, and good night (lots of clapping)."
Don't think no-man's land would just be full of a bunch of no names. I'm sure Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who will only get married when gays are allowed to, would be citizens. Yes, I believe no-man's land would be the site of the biggest Hollywood wedding ever.
Actually, as president elect I would be informed by my advisers that Area 51 is in the middle of Nevada. That would be a problem, because a number of "townships" I'm sure would make it legal to marry the aliens. Plus, I'm sure a lot of the Green Party folks would be upset about the bomb testing.
Maybe it should get moved to that ANWR place. However, if the government wanted to start drilling for oil there, we'd then have to worry about disturbing more than just caribou.
Photo: http://www.pierce-evans.org/Election.htm
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1 comment:
Good thinking! I've got a few people I can think of off the top of my head that could head there right now. I'd even like to pay for their trip. Now I'm not prejudice but I'd like for all those wining gay activists to go there, get married, and start the families and have the rights they've wanted. They can just procreate themselves into extinction.
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