Every July "the running of the bulls" is held in Pamplona, Spain. Thousands of idiots crowd cobblestone streets to run in front of an angry mob of bulls. 33 were injured in this years’ run. 15 have died since the tradition started. To outsiders, the event may seem ridiculous. But to the participants, there is probably some intangible splendor that comes from getting mauled each year.
I think I can relate. Every July “the river run” is held in Provo Canyon, Utah. My friends and I, all idiots, set out to float the unforgiving waters of the mighty Provo River. To the casual observer, the river looks peaceful as it winds through the canyon’s terrain. But to us it is death.
The annual river run started a few years ago, in college. My roommates and I gathered up some flimsy inner tubes from a service station and entered the river as brave seafaring men. We came back as frightened little girls.
The water was frigid; as in it would’ve been one big block of ice if its temperature had dropped just one more degree. We were also not equipped for the rapids we’d face. Gripping to our inner tubes, we tumbled around like clothes in a dryer. Moreover, there were jagged rocks lining the bottom of the river, all of which laid claim to our backs, butts, legs, and arms. Many of us still have scars from that first run.
We swore we’d never do it again, but year two came around and we were once more summoned to “the river run.” We again took a beating. This last weekend marked the third annual river run, and it may go down as the most dreadful of them all.
The “proper” way to float the Provo River is in some kind of raft, or if not that a heavy-duty tube wrapped in fabric, like the kind you’d pull behind a boat. But this year many of us tried out pool toys.
One person rode down the river on an inflatable lobster that barrel rolled every time it hit rapids. Others rode on tubes shaped like lounge chairs, two of which popped on the first stretch of the river. I rode down on some little donut-shaped tube I got from ShopKo. I think it was designed for an anorexic child, because it sat about 6 inches below the water the whole time.
Most casualties on this year’s river run occurred at The Bridge. As the water rushes through the support columns of The Bridge several narrow chutes are created. As you approach you must decide which chute you want to run, and paddle accordingly. You always choose one, then at the last second change your mind and try to go through another, only to be flipped upside down and wrapped around one of the support columns. Then you drown for a few moments as your tube races on like an unsaddled horse.
When it was all said and done, everyone was miserable. Many were suffering from the first stages of hypothermia; many were bleeding from lacerations caused by wrecking on the rocks, and many felt like they’d been run over by a bull. I know I have a cut on my knee that probably warrants stitches.
It was another river run in the books, and in 12 more months we’ll be ready for our next mauling.
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4 comments:
My wife is mad you included her under the idiot blanket. She says she was forced into making bad decision. The river was angry and claimed many victims, but I'm glad we went. Can't wait for River Run 09.
If I hadn't experienced it myself, I would have thought this is a joke. It's the Provo river, after all. It's a glorified kiddie pool.
Wrong.
I have a new healthy respect for the Provo River. It consumed my tube, it pummeled my legs and back, and it spit me out, forcing me to hike two miles up the canyon back to my car in cutoff jeans.
The river was angry, and it simply would not let me be in its powerful current.
I will be back, though. That much is certain.
To The River Run! Pain and pleasure has never been wrapped up in such an appealing icy torrent. Bring on Round 2.
I remember floating the little river in Cokeville, Wyoming with our cousins. Never had quite the current of the Provo mammoth, but I always came out with several leeches on my arms and legs. That was all the thrill that Cokeville could offer. (I don't even know if I'm spelling that right). Do you remember that as well?
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