Women seem to love fictional men

It's hard for a guy to win over a girl; there are plenty of other dudes out in the world with more money, better looks, and greater charisma. So when a guy does sway a girl his way, he has much reason to celebrate.

However, he must not let his guard down. A hard reality he'll soon face is that while he's beat out all the real men, he'll still have to compete with imaginary men for his woman's love. Any guy out there that is unwilling to acknowledge this competition is simply living in ignorance.

Below are a couple of the biggest offenders:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/prideandprejudice/episodes/pp_1_episode.shtml

Darcy (the one played by Collin Firth). This guy's a heavy hitter. The magnitude of damage he's done since 1995, when the movie "Pride and Prejudice" was released, is hard to calculate.

In the 5-hour film, he graces the screen with dashing looks and a melt-your-spine British accent. Though he fronts as a pompous English lord, anyone who gets to know him finds he isn't afraid to lend a helping hand. For example, he's seen teaching his little sister play the piano, and he isn't above helping a lower-class family with financial woes.

His woman-winning artillery includes
- An estate (a.k.a. "a fat crib")
- A carriage
- Careless locks of hair
- Ruffles on the front of his white shirt

The only weakness normal men can expose is that his first name is Fitzwilliam *chuckles all around*.

http://weblogs.cltv.com/entertainment/tv/metromix/2008/11/

Edward (the vampire in "Twilight"). Unlike Darcy, Edward from the book series is more dangerous than the Edward from the movie. From what I hear, the text does more for his suave demeanor than what the camera is able to portray.

Though he looks like a strapping 17-year old, Edward is actually 104. But that doesn't stop him from robbing the cradle and picking up teenage Bella at a local high school.

While normal men would think women would lose interest in Edward, since he sucks blood, they find it hard not to when he resists his urge to drink it for the love of Bella.

His woman-winning artillery includes
- "Impossibly beautiful" looks
- Swift feat (he can beat any Cullen in a foot race)
- The ability to read minds
- The ability to go without breathing

The only weakness normal men can expose is that he gets purple bruises under his eyes if he goes too long without feeding (hopefully it's mistaken for mascara, and any guy that wears make-up is a sissy).

As you can see, fictional characters like the two listed above are hard to compete with. Darcy would never sit around watching football. Edward would never chug a soda and then crush the can on his head. They'd go to the opera. They'd dance at the ball.

I've told my wife a hundred times that I'd be happy to challenge Darcy, Edward, or the like to a fist fight. I'd pay good money for the chance to roll up my sleeves and meet Edward in a back alley.

However, my attempt to impress her with my strength is always quickly countered with a plea for me not to be so mean. I'm reminded that Edward would never fight if he didn't have to. Plus he's not real, so he'd never show up to the fight anyway (what a wuss).

I, and other normal men, have to find a way to fend off these imposers. We have to find a way for women to start asking why these guys aren't more like us, rather than the other way around.

One option is to follow Sun Tzu's council from "The Art of War:" get to know your enemy before you try to beat them. I think the women would appreciate that stratagem best.